Why I Will NEVER Ride The Bus Again! is an iCarly.com blog written by Spencer Shay about his experience on a bus.
Blog[]
 Why I Will NEVER Ride The Bus Again!
Yo ho! It is me, Spencer (older brother of Carly). Okay, so recently I've had some BAD LUCK while riding the BUS. So, I decided I'm NEVER getting on a bus again! I am so serious. Last week, not only did some guy spill chili on me but he ATE it off me... WITHOUT A SPOON!!! It was so wrong. And it tickled. This week I fell asleep on a bus and ended up in CANADA -- which I thought was a nice country until I realized their "bacon" (you know, "Canadian bacon") is nothing more than plain ol' HAM! Well... HAM IS HAM! You can't take a slice of HAM and just say it's BACON. Come on, Canada! You can't do that. Think about it, Canada... How would YOU feel if I (an American) held up a piece of BALONEY and said, "Look, everyone! This is American SAUSAGE!" You guys would be all, "No, that's NOT sausage -- that's a slice of BALONEY!" And you'd be RIGHT. We've gotta be HONEST, people. I would never show Canadians a piece of baloney and pretend I had a sausage. That's not right. Anyway... You may think it's wrong of me to give up riding the bus forever. But you don't know the OTHER STUFF that's happened to me while riding the bus. So, here's a list of ALL THE BAD THINGS that have happened to me on the bus: One time the bus stunk (because the bus driver had not taken a bath in MONTHS). That bus smelled so RANK I stuck my head out the window -- and it got STUCK!!! I kept yelling, "Please, help me squeeze my head back into the bus!!!" -- but no one helped me. I'd STILL have my head stuck in that window if it wasn't for a nice lady who rubbed chicken fat all over my head and yanked me back in. One time the Seattle Museum of Wax people asked me to make a wax sculpture of my little sister Carly (since she's famous now cuz of iCarly). So, I made a life-size wax sculpture of Carly and took it on the bus, to take it to the museum. Well, the dumb bus driver tried to charge me for TWO PEOPLE! I kept saying, "Dude, this girl is made of WAX!" And he said, "Sorry, a girl's a girl no matter what she's made of." So I said, "You're being so frustrating!" And then the bus's air-conditioner broke and my "Wax Carly" MELTED into nothing more than a sad puddle of Carly juice. Three months ago, I'm standing there, waiting for the bus... and a bee stung my nose. Since I'm allergic to bees, my nose swelled up to the size of a grapefruit! I know it was that big cuz when the bus pulled up, the bus driver looked at me and said, "Whoa, I ain't lettin' no grapefruit-nosed man on my bus!" And then he just drove off! He left me standing there alone with my huge nose. As I stood there thinking what to do next, a dog peed on my foot. Two Thanksgivings ago, I took the bus to Yakima to visit my grandfather (who I don't enjoy). And get this: just as we got to Yakima, the bus driver has a SNEEZING FIT and drove right into the YAKIMA RIVER! I had to eat my Thanksgiving dinner with WET PANTS. So, I'M DONE WITH THE BUS! No more buses for me. Now... I BLADE.  |
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Related Pages[]
External Links[]
Why I Will NEVER Ride The Bus Again! on iCarly.com- Why I Will NEVER Ride The Bus Again! on archive.vn
- Why I Will NEVER Ride The Bus Again! on web.archive.org
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