I did this when I watched Freak the Freak Out. Quick thing: I ship Seddie and I nitpick. You have been warned...
00:00:32 - "I know. This looks unusual." No, that looks about right.
00:00:54 - Squeezing a potato? Well, okay.
00:01:46 - "Scusi, but I need Freddie."
"Freddie hates you." ahahaha XD
00:02:18 - "You haven't had a date since Seinfeld got canceled." NEW FAVORITE SAM LINE.
00:02:24 - I love how Mrs. Benson is upset that Sam thought Seinfeld was canceled and not that she said she hadn't had a date in that long.
00:03:03 - Sam didn't insult Freddie back when he said her family was full of "freaks and mutants". :)
00:03:26 - Ball joint lube? What was Spencer using that for??? No, don't tell me. I'd rather not know.
00:03:35 - Ooh, fancy credits!
00:04:19 - Sam and Freddie are sitting next to each other. :))
00:04:54 - Sam and Freddie looked at each other and smiled. :)))
00:05:16 - Mr. Howard's back!
00:05:42 - "You wanna get kicked out of this class?"
"It's my dream!"
00:06:24 - At this point, my brother noticed that Steven didn't have a Pear Phone. I explained to him and my sister, who was also watching, that Dan has all the good characters get the Pear electronics, but not the bad characters. Like Nevel's laptop in iPTN wasn't a PearBook.
00:06:37 - I find this sudden change in Mr. Howard's treatment of Steven very creepy.
00:06:49 - Apart from explaining to the viewers what a 100-day kiss is, why did they have to explain it to Mr. Howard? I find that somewhat weird.
00:06:56 - Right after Gibby said he hadn't heard of the 100-day kiss, I said, "Well, he's Gibby." Right before Sam said, "Well, yeah, but you're a Gibby."
00:07:22 - My sister went "oooh" went she saw Tori with Steven.
00:08:35 - I like Jade with brown hair. I think the combination of the tan, the thinner eyebrows, and the black hair is too severe.
00:08:59 - "What up with that, what up with that!" XD
00:10:18 - Matt Bennett is so underrated. *makes mental note to find The Virginity Hit on Netflix*
00:11:16 - Sam and Freddie are playing a game. :))))
00:11:31 - Why do I find Sam hitting Freddie with an orange funny? :)))))
00:11:51 - "Steven's last name is Carson?"
"Yes, you should know that, I love him!" XD
00:12:03 - Carly's eyebrows changed throughout the episode. They're thinner in some scenes and less thin in other scenes.
00:12:38 - I knew there would be at least one Shelby Marx reference.
00:13:52 - "Oh, look, Sam and Freddie are here. That's different!" :))))))
00:14:58 - I knew he'd call Gibby to rub his back.
00:15:32 - At this point, I asked out loud, "Where's Cat?"
00:15:49 - Yay, Cat!
00:16:32 - Well, at least Sikowitz goes about the right way to cheer her up by pretending to chew on her hair. Side note: I WANT ARIANA GRANDE'S HAIR.
00:17:48 - Ooh, Sam has a Pear Phone!
00:18:32 - XD oh hai guys, I'm an adult and body humor still makes me laugh.
00:19:01 - Okay, Andre's locker is awesome.
00:19:06 - Sinjin wears a lot of super skinny jeans.
00:19:40 - omg, does Spencer have a book club? XD
00:21:35 - Cat is the most adorable person EVAR.
00:21:53 - oh Cat the greatest tragedy is that YOU ARE NOT A REAL PERSON wait did I really just type that
00:22:08 - "I felt your hand tense up." Why does that sound so dirty to me?
00:23:29 - I love the random noises Spencer makes.
00:23:56 - "My dad once told my mom he was coming back." Well now we know what happened to Sam's dad.
00:24:22 - I love how Twitter exists in Schneiderverse.
00:25:07 - "BF means boyfriend."
"Thank you, Freddie." XD
00:25:31 - lol "hands of a Goddess"
00:26:09 - "No yellow foods", huh? Bananas?
00:26:49 - omg when Spencer mentioned Hasselhoff, did Freddie really say "hamburgesa" and mimed sloppily eating a hamburger? I love Dan Schneider.
00:27:21 - hahahahaha not MacGyver: The Musical. MACGRUBER.
00:27:49 - I want Sam's outfit in that scene.
00:28:34 - "not the best driver"? And yet he drove them to LA?
00:29:56 - At this point, I said, "Something's seriously wrong with Rex." My brother looked at me and said, "Something's wrong with Rex?" I realized I momentarily forgot Rex isn't a real person. I R DUM.
00:30:17 - holy flipping fudging chiz that's a heck of a makeup job
00:30:59 - imo, Sam calls herself "Regina Goodbody" because the rest of her is hideous to look at.
00:31:16 - Patty Schwab?? She totally shtole that from Shtaschey Dillshen.
00:31:54 - Gibby's hat has the Drake & Josh logo. Seriously. I love Schneiderverse.
00:32:09 - Sam and Freddie looked at each other. :)))))))
00:33:31 - What if Gibby and Sinjin met and became friends?
00:34:06 - The theme to "Sister, Sister" just played in my head.
00:35:17 - I'm gonna be a broken record a lot. Cat is adorable and I wish we were friends in real life.
00:35:37 - ngl, I have totally pretended I was becoming human soup when I was in a hot tub.
00:35:53 - "It's me!" Sikowitz is the best. :)
00:36:44 - "The Joke Is On You" is playing.
00:37:56 - “Number One” by Ginger Fox. <3
00:38:15 - Carly put Sam and Freddie together to look for Steven. :))))))))
00:39:44 - My brother thought Kenan was in the panda suit.
00:39:54 - ahahahaha “Probably wanna get a job then.”
00:41:17 - Robbie likes the Spice Girls? Who still listens to the Spice Girls?
00:41:49 - omg did someone call Robbie “Samberg”? hahahaha XD
00:43:34 - The rhyming is good, but Matt Bennett (or whoever is the voice of Rex) can’t rap. Sorry.
00:44:08 - If I ever have a professor like Sikowitz, I bet his class will be awesome.
00:45:07 - “Give It Up” is playing!!!! Why didn’t that song ever go on iTunes?
00:45:34 - Funny. I thought Beck and Spencer would be the ones to freak out, and Jade would be all *poker face*.
00:46:53 - Why does Patty Schwab require a British accent? Random.
00:48:38 - Oh, Sam. No.
00:48:45 - Carly, don’t cry. THERE MUST BE A WAY TO REACH INTO A TV SET AND HUG FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
00:49:14 - Awww, I love how loyal and protective Freddie is of his friends.
00:49:24 - Are you sure Steven would pound him silly? Have you seen his guns? *ahem* Not that I’m looking (for some reason, I still think Nathan’s jailbait).
00:51:03 - Cat’s talking headband sounds like the speech feature on my laptop.
00:51:36 - BEST. GIBBY. MOMENT. EVER.
00:52:42 - THE RETURN OF THE BUTTER SOCK!
00:55:18 - Ooooh, me likey this plan. :)
00:55:54 - Wait, wait, why is there music playing? Did the DJ’s backup get here already?
00:56:09 - KENAN!!!!
00:58:51 - I loved All That. Best show on classic 90’s Nickelodeon.
00:59:37 - Ooh, Steven’s on his way up. I am excite.
01:00:00 - Kenan’s the best.
01:00:38 - “Yes! Ex meaning not anymore!” I loved Victoria’s delivery of that line.
01:01:13 - I liked Sam’s Italian accent. But I’m smh at Cameron’s (Steven) acting.
01:01:33 - RANDOM HUMILIATION!!! hahahahaha XD
01:02:11 - “We’re in the middle of a game!” I love Jade.
01:03:29 - idk but that rap was a little misogynistic.
01:04:00 - Sam has a very urban accent when she raps.
01:04:19 - I love Jennette. But she can’t rap either.
01:04:44 - “You couldn’t even rap if I stapled his lips and took his hand out your back.”
01:06:15 - CAT SPEAKS!
01:06:26 - Ooh, even better. Cat sings! imho, Ariana and Liz should get their own spin-off. I’d watch it.
01:06:52 - Yay, mash-up time!
01:07:23 - SAM IS SINGING!!!! SAM IS SINGING!!!!!
01:07:32 - I repeat: ARIANA AND LIZ NEED THEIR OWN SPIN-OFF.
01:07:38 - “I’M TELLING YOU JUST HOW I FEEL!!!”
01:07:59 - I hear Nathan. He’s not terrible, but then again, he’s not a singer.
01:08:38 - eta: Jennette should be part of Ari and Liz’s spin-off.
Overall: LOVED LOVED LOVED IT. HATERS, PLEASE FAMILIARIZE YOURSELVES WITH THE LEFT-HAND EVACUATION PROCEDURE.