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The Chizz Weekly - Issue 5

EpicFork December 17, 2011 User blog:EpicFork

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Merry Christmas Chizz Weekly

Christmas Riddles

1) What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

2) What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

3) How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

4) Why does Santa have 3 gardens?

5) If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child, what would he be called?

If you think you know the answer, leave in the comments below but DON'T CHEAT. Answers will be down below.


A Very Hank & Frank Christmas
by TenCents

Once upon a time there were two kids. They were really cheery and loved to do things for the good of others. They were the best people you could ever know.

But unfortunately, their parents wouldn’t let us write about them, so you’re stuck with reading about these two kids…

Hank and Frank were at the mall.

“What should we get mom for Christmas?” Hank asked.

“She did always want a new headset,” Frank said.

“I can’t believe we’re shopping on Christmas Eve,” Hank added, grumbling. “You’re so picky!”

“Mom deserves the perfect gift from her 2 sons,” Frank snapped.

“Sometimes I can’t believe we’re brothers,” Hank groaned.

Finally, the two brothers found the perfect gift.

“You call that load of crap perfect?” Hank asked after they’d bought it.

“It’s not a load of crap!” Frank snapped back. “It’s a turntable! They used these for those old records Mom had when she was a kid!”

“But she already has a turntable!” Hank replied.

“Yeah, but have you noticed how old it is?” Frank replied. “Besides, not only does this play music, it converts any record or cassette tape into Mp3 or CD file.”

“What the fudge is a cassette tape?” Hank asked.

Frank started to say something, but stopped.

“I can’t believe you’re such a geek,” Hank groaned.

“People like geekiness!” Frank complained. “Think like Seddie!”

“iCarly is a TV show!” Hank snapped. “They’re fictional characters! Girls don’t like geeks in real life!”

“Yeah, well what if we were fiction?” Frank asked.

Hank started to reply, but was interrupted by a loud voice.

“Attention shoppers,” it said. “The mall is now closed. The doors will be locked in 2 minutes, so please find the nearest exit.”

“The mall is closing!” Frank yelled.

“I’m sure that’s obvious,” Hank said sarcastically.

“No!” Frank snapped. “I mean that we need to get out before they lock the doors!”

They ran through the mall, but a little too slowly.

“Stop running so slow!” Hank yelled.

“I need to keep this thing safe!” Frank moaned.


Highlight for Answers! 1) Claustrophobic.

2) Snowflakes.

3) A merry Christmas to Ewe.

4) So he can ho-ho-ho.

5) A subordinate claus. Last Week's Winner: Booklover101

“A few hard knocks aren’t gonna do anything wrong!” Hank snapped. “Come on!”

But when they reached the exit, the doors were locked, and before they knew it, all the lights shut off.

“Dang,” Frank said.

“Well,” said Frank. “Looks like we’re stuck here.”

“Yup,” said Hank.”

“ON CHRISTMAS EVE!” Frank yelled. “MOM’S EXPECTING US HOME IN 20 MINUTES!”

“Not my fault,” Hank replied.

“Not your fault?!” Frank yelled. “If you hadn’t started that argument, we wouldn’t have been here…do you hear something?”

They listened. There were footsteps coming down the hall.

“Hide!” Hank said.

“What? Those people can help us…”

Frank got pulled by Hank behind a display case.

They listened.

“You hear something, Jim?” asked a security guard.

“Nothing, Tim,” said the other security guard.

“Jim and Tim?” Hank muttered.

“Who gives two people names that rhyme?” Frank asked.

The two brothers looked at each other. “Mothers,” they both grumbled.

“I heard something!” Tim yelled.

“It was the wind,” Jim said.

“I’m gonna go ask those guys to help us,” said Frank, getting up.

“Excuse me,” he said to the two security guards.

“Shoplifter!” Jim yelled. “Get him!”

“But I was…” Frank started to say, but he felt a tug and Hank dragged him through the mall.

Once they’d outrun the two guards, they hid inside a Build-A-Bear Workshop.

“I think they’re gone,” said Hank.

“Good,” said Frank. “We gotta get outta here. By the way those two immediately assumed I was a shoplifter, odds are they won’t believe we’re just two really cheery kids who love to do things for the good of others.”

“We aren’t,” Hank pointed out. “Remember?”

“Oh yeah,” said Frank. “Well, odds are, we’re gonna have to get outta here the hard way.”

<chase scene>

[chase scene set to “Through the Fire and the Flames”]

Hank & Frank run through the building. We are viewing out into the mall from inside the window. Hank and Frank run past the window. A few seconds later, the Jim & Tim start chasing them back. Slight pause. Jim & Tim are now running in the opposite direction, with Hank & Frank in pursuit with large pitchforks.

In the next scene, Hank & Frank run towards a fountain. They both separate to run around the fountain. Jim & Tim aren’t as lucky. SPLASH!

[insert coins flying towards the reader here]

Finally, Hank & Frank reach a large window that overlooks the mall parking lot.

</chase scene>

“Ah, we’re at a dead end!” Frank moaned.


Christmas Pageant Winners Christmas King: Mak23686

Christmas Queen: xSophieSakura

“No we’re not!” Hank said. He grabbed Frank’s turntable and threw it through the window. The window shattered as the turntable crashed onto the parking lot.

“DUDE!” Frank yelled. “That was mom’s present!”

“Go and get it,” said Hank. He picked up Frank.

‘Wait, you’re not gonna…” Frank started to say before he flew out the window.

“I DON’T GET PAID FOR THESE STUNTS!” he screamed as he landed on the pavement.

Hank looked back to see Jim and Tim running towards him. He gulped and jumped through the window.

“COWABUNGA!” he called.

He would’ve flattened himself on landing if Frank hadn’t cushioned the fall.

“Glad to be of service,” Frank muttered.

Hank and Frank stumbled through the streets towards their home.

“Just great,” said Frank. “Not only do we have cuts and bruises, I’m holding a smashed up turntable for mom.”

They walked passed a Salvation Army Santa.

“Why the long face?” the man asked.

“We ruined our mom’s Christmas present,” Frank groaned.

“Did you?” the Santa asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hank and Frank looked at each other, puzzled. Then they looked at the turntable! It was fixed, with not even a scratch!

“Thank you so much, sir…” Frank started to say, but he stopped. The Salvation Army Santa was nowhere in sight.

“Should we run home screaming?” Hank asked.

“That seems like a good idea,” Frank commented.

Their mother opened the present the next day.

“You boys went through all that trouble to get me this?” she asked.

“Trust me,” Frank groaned. “It was worth it.”

“I’d like to see what trouble you went through to get me my present!” their father joked.

Hank and Frank started to laugh, but they stopped.

“Did we…?” Frank asked.

“Umm…” Hank replied. “I think I need to vomit clam chowder.”

Chat Hacks
by EpicFork

After taking another leisurely stroll down Community Central, I happened to discover Mr.Monchoman's chat hacks. So basically I enabled them for myself and would like to teach you guys about them.

These Chat Hacks allow you to:

  • Clear your chat window
  • Setting your account as away with one button click (Usually you have to time out to be considered away)
  • Ping commands (so let's say one of your ping command is your name, it will alert you when your name is said)
  • Slash commands (just type /help to see all commands)
  • Icons next to messages from chat mods
  • Multi-user private chats (currently disabled)

How to get them:

  • Go here
  • Click "create" and copy code from here
  • Hit "publish".
  • Clear your cache.
Merry Christmas from TCW!
by The Chizz Weekly Staff

What does Decmeber have that no other month has? No, not the letter D silly, we meant the holiday season. You know the time of year where you spend time with your family and worry about what to get people. Anyways, the entire Chizz Weekly would like to wish everybody a "Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays".

Before we go, we'd also like to ask people to give their suggestions on how to improve our newsletter. There will be two weeks till the next Chizz Weekly so we clearly have time to improve. Leave any suggestions here.

Oh and if you guys haven't seen it yet, there's a new Spam forum. Please check it out.

New Details on Jennette's Album
by EpicFork

According to her interview with Fanlala, Jennette will release her album with Nashville Capitol Records "VERY early in 2012". It will have 10 songs. She will also be going on a tour not along after it is released. After this, Jennette will probably segue into pop music.

You can read the entire exclusive interview here.

Comic Strip
by Jon23812

What's the Pic?
by Jon23812


IFindThePic
This Week's Poll
by Ant 157349
How do you spend your Christmas Holidays?
 
3
 
3
 
5
 
1
 
26
 
2
 

The poll was created at 15:13 on December 17, 2011, and so far 40 people voted.

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