Carly quickly ran up to the studio, avoiding the glances from Sam and Freddie as she entered the Shay apartment wiping her tears. As she hurried up the stairs she could hear both Sam and Freddie calling for her as she was ascending to the only place that she found as a sanctuary. The only place where she could control what and what didn't happen, a place where there were no memories of either her Father or Mother to remind her of their absence. There was only friendship, love, and happiness at the top of the Shay's apartment, not sadness, death or rejection.
As Carly entered the studio she sauntered to the purple bean bag, kneeling down and pressing her forehead against it's cool cloth and surrounding herself to the darkness as she began to sob.
She had just come back from another date, another boy that had shown interest for her at school, and another boy that just as their story had begun, it ended abruptly. It was a tale that Carly had become all to familiar with, another stamp of rejection to add to her already empty story of love, and frankly, she was ready to give up.
She wasn't sure when this overbearing shadow of that she would never find anyone hovered over her. A couple years ago she had no problem gaining the attention of boys, and it was her that would break up with them, not vice versa. She heaved again for a breathe of air as she continued to sob. But that was years ago, another time, where her father was only suppose to be gone for a year or two, where college was light-years away, and when Freddie still liked her. Freddie... this was HIS fault.
Darn him Carly thought to herself as she continued to cry.
Freddie, the nerdy nub that lived across the hall from her. The boy that she always just considered as a good friend, her best friend, the one she went to when she was having a bad day and knew he could cheer her up. The quick solution when Sam wasn't at her apartment to tell her that all she needed was a good slice of ham, or if she needed her to punch the daylight out of the guy that caused Carly's tears. No, Sam and Freddie were both her best friends, but Sam had always been the one to rough Carly up, the comic relief, but Freddie, he was the reality check, the sweet guy that always reminded Carly that there were good guys out there. He was the only one that understood her, not because he spent many hours with her, but because he understood her soul. Of course, she was too stupid at the time to realize what was right in front of her, she has known all along, but because of their friendship and Freddie's demeanor she had always pushed him aside, looking for the better-looking, richer, and more popular version of Freddie.
She wasn't sure when she actually started liking Freddie. She admitted to herself that she very ignorantly had always considered him to be a back-up if she never ended up with anyone. Was that where it started? When she realized she was completely fine with that idea? Was it after that awful dance where Freddie offered to dance with her afterwards, and for the first time since her mother’s death she felt content as she laid her head on his shoulder? The one guy that made an awful night one of the most memorable in all her life? One of the most profound nights in her life where she had wished her mother was still alive, there to buy her dress with her and get her ready for her dance? To tell her that she was beautiful?
Carly wiped a tear from face as sighed heavily into the bean bag.
Was it when he had saved her life and the very reasons why she didn't date Freddie now became invalid because he now was a "hero"?
She shifted a little in the bean bag, resting her chin on top, looking at the Christmas lights twinkling over the car prop in their studio as she began to continue her thoughts. She wasn't completely sure what exactly happened when they were dating or how they broke up. Everything was fine in her eyes, but all of a sudden, in this very studio, Freddie wasn't sure if he wanted to be with her, the boy that loved her, wanted to break up only after a week.
He had explained himself, stating that he was just her "bacon", and for someone who understood her so well, she understood him equally and questioned herself. Was she really caught up in all the "heroics"? Did Freddie remind her of her father, the hero of her mother who had first met when he had also saved her life? Was she just desperately looking for anyone at that time, or was it actually because she liked him? She wasn't exactly sure, and even if Freddie wasn't going to be her boyfriend, he was still her best friend, and she refused to lead him on if that were the case. So they ended things, agreeing to try again if there was anything after the heroics had faded.
That had been years though, and after several weeks had passed she questioned if she really did like Freddie as she saw the many handsome boys blossoming now that they were in high school. She went back to her original thoughts, and began to seek for the Freddie who was just a little more popular, at least, that's what her brain said to her heart. After dating Freddie, she really wasn't as keen on dating as much as she was before. She was just fine spending time with Freddie as she shuffled through her feelings. Of course, she would have shuffled quicker if she had known that Sam was also harboring feelings for the same man.
Carly sighed as she thought of Sam, her other best friend, the one that she would have never guessed in a million years to like Freddie. The one that tortured him on a daily basis.
The thought angered her a little that Sam wouldn't have ever confined her feelings for him to begin with, but that was in the past, and Carly didn't like to hold grudges after their mishap years earlier.
The night she had walked by to see Sam and Freddie was definitely not in her list of top nights. Between seeing Freddie kiss Sam, Sam not telling her that she was "in love" with Freddie -- especially when they promised her not to keep secrets anymore, felt like a slap in the face. She wasn't exactly sure how she felt, after being in her bubble with Freddie for so long, it's sudden pop left her in a world of disarray.
Should she be happy for them? Excited? Upset? It was a good thing that they were passed bullying one another, right?
This is when her brain started to take precedent over her heart. She decided that it was right all along, that Sam and Freddie should be together, that she would support them and that she would find a more popular version of Freddie as her two best friends ran around in bliss. Of course, deep down, she never really thought that they would last. Her intuition only became true when they first started dating and she had to break up each of their fights, which were now more annoying now that they were dating, and then there was the issue of Sam still playing jokes on Freddie, one that caused Freddie his Summer, and then them trying to spend time together doing other things besides kissing. But Carly had been a good friend, hiding her emotions and letting her friendship with both of her best friends take priority over her feelings.
She realized that in the middle of their relationship that she has slipped up once when Sam and Freddie has realized that she was "jealous", but thankfully, they had assumed it was because she missed spending time with both of them, which she did, but it wasn't the underlying behavior of her behavior. She was going to make sure that that wasn't going to happen again.
After they broke up, apparently Sam broke his little heart, she felt a little sigh of relief and believed that maybe Freddie and her would go back to their little bubble. But the bubble never came back, and Sam and Freddie were now spending more time together than Carly. Perhaps it was for the best, and Carly once again began looking for guys, I mean, this was around the time that her parents met, and she wasn't getting any younger. She began writing down the little things about Freddie that she would find in others.
Freddie was smart... so the British boy seemed like a good match. But as always, she was trying to hard to impress, and he had left her. There was Lance, the boy that had shared Chinese with her in the bathtub, but Freddie's mother's presence only reminded her of Freddie, so she never went on another date with him.
And then there was the boy that she had went on a date tonight, that had a very similar hair style to Freddie’s that left half-way through the dinner to talk with another girl and now here she was. Alone. Single. Lonely.
She put her head into the bean bag again as she continued to cry. Yes, this was all Freddie's fault. The only boy she could truly be herself with. The boy that even when she has a boy from One Direction flirt with her, that she denied because he wasn't Freddie. The boy she could lay her head on.
The boy that had slowly and quietly had just walked into the studio and lovingly asked "Carly?"
Carly's heart stopped.