You should all be ashamed.

Wagging your tail around

like it is some sort of provacative game.

Taunting and pressing,

until none more can be beared,

then spitting me out like rotten bread and old jam.

I brush off my knees with careful acting,

but you turn your back like I get no compassion.

I am lying about you, in your sort of eyes,

but don't you listen to what everyone throws back...

It's your disguise.

It's the truth!

It's the truth!

I scream it out loud.

Somebody had to say, and vaguely I shall.

When everyone says it, they still think we're lying.

We just want the person inside of you to come back; the real you is dying.

As for the others, you try to be older than you are.

Keep your innocence, my dear, it will get you far.

When you try to be more mature than it is health you can,

you become something I know you really aren't are.

All my life, I have been loved.

By my parents, a lot. I was their little blue eyed blonde haired angel. It made my fraternal twin sister jealous. Maggie always complained about how I got so much more attention then she did. And maybe I did. What was important was that they loved me. They never wanted to change a thing about me. They would brag to their friends about how I was going to marry a great guy someday.

At school I was always popular. Everyone knew me and everyone wanted to be my friend. I didn't understand why. People said it was because I was pretty. Others said it was because I was sweet. I had been known not to judge anybody for anything, no matter what. People who had never even talked to me before and never had a class with me ever came to me with serious problems. And I was the kind one that helped. I never turned anybody down for anything. I never judged anyone for anything.

My best friend in the whole entire world was Alissa. We had been best friends since the first day of Kindergarten when we made a pinky promise that we would always the "bestest" of friends. Alissa and I always came to each other with our problems. We would never judge each other. Best friends were always there for each other, and we always were.

My twin sister was as close to me as Alissa was. We shared a room, after all. We fought a lot less than typical sisters fight. We promised to always love each other. A bond between sisters could never change. I knew that, and I knew Maggie would never do that to me. She loved me, and I loved her.

The last thing that I trusted I could always have and love was the Church. Since my first time there, I was always amazed that with so many people on the Earth, God was able to love anyone, even somebody as small as a speck as me. I believed that God loved me. I prayed to him every night since I was four until I was eleven. Even if I lost everything, I believed I would always have God.

But how did I lose everything?

Because of my inability to do what my parents had bragged to their friends about.

"She is going to marry a great guy someday."

Marry a great guy.

Great guy.

Marry a guy.


Like normal straight girls.

straight girls.

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