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Demonic Uprising: Apocalypse Now

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“So, now what?” Scar asked awkwardly.
They were all lying around Emily’s living room.
“Well, we wait,” Emily replied.
Hayley looked at her. “For what?” she asked. “For Spike to come to us.”
“That’s the plan,” said Emily.
“I don’t believe this,” Mango complained. “You seriously expect Spike to walk up to this house, knock on the door, and yell ‘Hello? When do you want me to kill you?’?”
“Why are you in my kitchen?” Emily called.
“I found a bunch of Eggo waffles,” Mango replied. “Mango needs a craving satisfaction.”
“You know, I was saving those,” Emily called again.
“For me? You shouldn’t have!” Mango said with glee.
Emily sighed and stared at the TV. She leaned forward. “Besides, I didn’t mean Spike was gonna literally gonna walk up to this house, knock on the door, and yell ‘Hello? When do you want me to kill you?’,” she said quietly.
“What do you mean?” Scar asked.
Emily turned up the volume. A news reporter was on the TV screen. He looked very bored. “Huh…in other news today, a neighborhood boy has reported seeing a gigantic lizard inside an old and abandoned warehouse in Hartford, Connecticut. Says his mother, ‘He’s just been so addicted to those Percy Jackson books lately: he thought he saw a stupid hydra! So, do I get a close-up?...Whaddaya mean you’re just interviewing me without actually filming me? I’ll give you a loogie where you wish you’d never be loogied!’ Local police chief Hyde Pierce has stressed that there are no hydras inside the old and abandoned warehouse, but he does not recommend anyone attempting to enter it, as it is not structurally safe,” the reporter than turned to look offscreen. “That bit about hydras was ridiculous."
Emily shut the picture off. “Well, who is up for Hartford?”
“Not it,” everyone called.
“Ahem!” Emily said, coughing loudly. “Well, who is up for serving people at the diner during lunch hour?”
“Not it!” everyone yelled again, this time, running for the car.


Spike tossed several joints into the hydra’s mouth. “If I keep feeding this thing until those Wikians come by, it’ll be full.”
“So, how about not feeding it?” Grush asked, leaning on a post. He was getting bored.
“I’m not gonna do that,” said Spike. “It’ll die by the time they get here. “So I’m gonna feed it a big meal, and by the time they get here in about an hour, it’ll be full.”
“Great,” Grush sighed. “Remind me what you intend to do with the hydra?”
“World domination,” Spike cackled. “I’m using the Wikians as a test-subject, as well as getting my revenge on Doranor. Me? A pawn? Don’t make me laugh! Once I prove how effective the hydra is by killing all the Wikians, I’ll unleash a whole batch of them onto the world! And with them doing my will, I will rule the earth!”
“That’s the lamest evil plan I’ve ever heard,” Grush replied, uncrossing his arms and walking over to Spike. “Doofenschmirtz on Phineas and Ferb would’ve thought of a better plan.”
“Do not speak of the Disney Channel,” Spike said, holding up his finger to Grush’s lips.
“Fine,” Grush shrugged. “So, what’s the ‘big meal’ gonna be for the hydra here?”
Spike shrugged. “Heh, I don’t know, you?”
Grush laughed. Then he looked at Spike in horror. “What? You’re insane! I’ve been helping you this whole time! Why turn against me like that?”
“Because I’m insane!” Spike laughed. He grabbed Grush and threw the screaming demon straight into the hydra’s mouth, who swallowed it in one gulp.
“Say hi to dad for me!” Spike called down the hydra’s throat.

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