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iCarly Abridged Episode 3!!!!!

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Disclaimer: Raise your hands if you think I have the millions of dollars to own iCarly, despite me writing fanfiction. Noone? Thought so. :)



iCarly The Abridged Series Episode Three: iAm The Gibby!




[OPENING SCENE: SAM IS EATING BREAKFAST WHEN CARLY WALKS IN ON HER]






CARLY:

Sam, what’re you doing?






SAM:

(THINKING)

Looking at my future wife?

(SAYS)

Eating.






CARLY:

You know if you stayed longer-BACON!!!






SAM:

(THINKING)

Gets ‘em every time.




[FREDDIE ENTERS THE CLASSROOM]







FREDDIE:

(TO CARLY)

Megan.




CARLY:

(TO FREDDIE)

Freddie.




FREDDIE:

(TO SAM)

Monster.






SAM: (TO FREDDIE)

Split personality.




MISS BRIGGS:

Sit down! Gibby’s in class today and- why does it smell like a gym in here?






[CARLY AND SAM EXCHANGE GUILTY LOOKS]



[MISS BRIGGS LOOKS OVER TO CARLY, EXPECTANTLY]




CARLY:

At least it wasn’t in cl-?



MISS BRIGGS:

Enough!




[FEARFUL, SAM DUMPS ALL OF HER FOOD INTO FREDDIE'S BACKPACK]

SAM:

There! All finished!







FREDDIE:

You know what I’d call you if I could…






MISS BRIGGS:

Well today, as always, I’m going to torture you with bagpipes…!




GIBBY:

(VOICED BY ISAIAH MUSTAFA, THE OLD SPICE MAN)

Hello, I’m here…






MISS BRIGGS:

Hush, minor character!




GIBBY:

(THINKING)

My pink shirt is still on…







MISS BRIGGS:

Since I hate you all, I’m forcing you to listen to this horrible music until you cry. And if you make loud noises, I’ll fail you! Everybody okay with that?






GIBBY:

I’m wearing plaid-!







MISS BRIGGS:

Ew, no! Like I was saying, I met this man who ravished me with his kilt and dancing, and I HAD to show my future husband to you! So here he is!






[GUY COMES IN]






CARLY:

Yeah, you bring in your boyfriend and tell me I can’t have-






[MUSIC PLAYS, CUTTING CARLY OFF, WHILE THE MAN DANCES]






SAM:

Your skirt’s laaame!




[THE CLASS BOOS AND MISS BRIGGS CUTS OFF THE MUSIC]



MISS BRIGGS:

Shut up! Who the (insert elephant noise here)said that? Raise your (insert retching noise here) hand!






SAM:

Gibby.






[MISS BRIGGS LOOKS TO GIBBY]






GIBBY:

No way, Sam started this!

(TO SAM)

You just wait until Season 3!






MISS BRIGGS:

Detention! And failure!







SAM:

Psh,your boyfriend’s gay anyways.




[CARLY LOOKS OVER TO SAM, IN A WARNING MANNER]




MISS BRIGGS:

Don’t listen to her. Continue, please!



[THE CLASS BOOS AGAIN]




MISS BRIGGS:

F’s then?




[THE CLASS ERUPTS IN FAKE CHEERS, WHILE THE MAN STARTS TO DANCE. IN FEAR AND AWE, SAM PULLS OUT TWO SLICES OF BACON AND PASSES ONE TO CARLY.]



CARLY:

(THINKING)

Wow Sam, your gaydar is really accurate!







[CUE “FRIENDS” THEME SONG]







[CUT TO CARLY AND SAM WALKING THROUGH THE HALLWAY OF HER APARTMENT]




SAM:

Thanks for coming home with me. I know you don’t approve of my mom, but I appreciate that you pretend.



CARLY:

It’s what I do.




SAM:

Wait, you didn’t smell the alcohol-?






CARLY:

I’m the nice Mary Sue! But yeah, she really reeked. You gotta talk to her about that.






[FREDDIE EXITS HIS APARTMENT]




CARLY:

Hey, peeper, I just got here for your normal stalk. Bye now!




FREDDIE:

The doctor says my backpack didn’t make it! Sam, you go apologize to it, or I’ll tell everyone-






SAM:

I want in your pants. There.




CARLY:

Sam, Freddie want some awful tea while we make the plot?




FREDDIE:

Yes!




SAM:

Yes, honey.




CARLY:

So, I hate that you got detention again, Sam.



FREDDIE:

She deserved it!



SAM:

I wish you were bad, detention’s so boring without you…




CARLY:

(PASSING SAM A CUP)

Drink.






SAM:

Will do. Look at how she gave me a lemon before you, Freddie! It’s love…






FREDDIE:

Shut up, blondie!






SAM: Wanna say that again?







FREDDIE:

That’s why I drunk texted your mom! Last night!






SAM:

That was me. On your phone!






FREDDIE:

(QUICKLY)

Say wha-?



No wonder mom is worried…



(THINKING)

Must… wash… evidence…






SAM:

So, what’re we gonna dance in this episode?






FREDDIE:

I only dance for pay.




[SAM TAKES FREDDIE’S STRAW AND STICKS IT IN HERE EAR WITHOUT HIM REALIZING THIS]






CARLY:

Nah, I think we should just let people embarrass themselves and send it in to us!









FREDDIE:

Long as it’s not me!






SAM:

Duh yeah!




FREDDIE:

(LOOKING DOWN)

My bendy straw…?




SAM:

Ah, got the pimple.

(DROPS STRAW IN HIS GLASS)







[CUT TO THE TRIO STARTING ICARLY]







FREDDIE:

In five, four, three, two, uhh what comes after-




CARLY:

I’m Carly!






SAM:

I’m Sam.




CARLY:

We make out-






SAM:

With ham-






CARLY:

Sometimes boys-






SAM:

And sometimes Freddie!






CARLY:

What? Since when do we do this?






SAM:

You know…






CARLY:

Although Sam clearly is a dirty liar, I’ll just say-






CARLY AND SAM:

(SHOUTING)

We kiss nubs!!!




SAM:

So, for the point of this show-






CARLY:

We wanna see your suckish moves!






SAM:

All of you losers who watch us-!






CARLY:

Should send in your most stupid-




SAM:

Most drunken-






CARLY:

Moves that look like dancing.




[DURING THE DIALOGUE, THE GIRLS DO SEVERAL FORMS OF DANCE]

SAM:

Now enjoy-






CARLY:

Us spazzing-




SAM:

Like retards-






CARLY:

For you!




[THE DANCES STOP]




CARLY:

To win, you’ll have to bribe us pretty well!







SAM:

Yeah, watching you is bad enough!




CARLY:

So send in your money-




SAM:

Or I’ll-







CARLY:

That’s Sam-






SAM:

Tell your mom how bad she was!






CARLY:

Sam, did you really-?






SAM:

No!



[BOTH GIRLS JUMP OUT OF THE WAY OF THE CAMERA]



[CUE NEXT SCENE, WHERE SAM IS BREAKING A LOCKER WITH A HAMMER]




CARLY:

(OBSERVING, THINKING)

Aw, baby…




SAM:

Hey!




CARLY:

Hm?






SAM:

Stupid locker that will be introduced later in the series won’t open! Meh!

[CONTINUES HAMMERING LOCKER]




[FREDDIE ENTERS]




FREDDIE:

So, we got about 3,000 videos to watch! We’re gonna be rich!




CARLY:

Makes you ask what kindof people watch our show…



SAM:

Obviously four year olds, pedos-

(Sam! Stop implying bad things about your fans!)



[SAM RETURNS TO HAMMERING HER LOCKER, UNTIL GIBBY ENTERS]




GIBBY:

So you decide to ruin my locker as well? For shame…






SAM:

Oh sor-







GIBBY:

Season 3.






SAM:

(OPENS AND CLOSES HER LOCKER)

Meh, I’m leaving. K bye Gibby.




[THE ICARLY TRIO LEAVES, AS GIBBY’S LOCKER DOOR FALLS OFF]

[CUE SCENE WHERE ICARLY TRIO IS JUDGING VIDEOS FOR CONTEST]




CARLY:

Blows.







SAM:

Lame.






FREDDIE:

Blows.






SAM:

Time for me to point out you agreed with her.







FREDDIE:

And me to imply you’re jealous.




CARLY:

If I weren’t so tired, I’d hit you both.






SAM:

Time for the mandatory Creddie.






CARLY AND FREDDIE:

AUUUUUGH!







SAM:

For the rest of the night.






CARLY & FREDDIE:

AUUUUUGH!




[SPENCER ENTERS, NOTICING THEY’RE WATCHING VIDEOS]




SPENCER:

Hey, what’re you guys- oh look, total spazzes!






CARLY:

Enjoy, we’ll be watching dancing videos all night for iCarly.






SPENCER:

Can… I show you one? Hm?






CARLY, SAM, & FREDDIE:

(ONE AFTER THE OTHER)

Yeah, whatever.






SPENCER:

Shoosh yeah! I call it, “The Spazzinator”.

[FLAILS ARMS AROUND]




CARLY:

Meh, 5.






SAM:

8.







FREDDIE:

5.






CARLY:

K, bye Spencer.







SPENCER:

But I just need- my helmet!




[RUNS OFF TO GET HELMET]



Hm, where did I… ooo, a hamburger from last week! I knew you didn’t eat it, Sam!




[CUT TO THE ICARLY TRIO, STILL WATCHING VIDEOS]







SAM:

And another dose of Creddie.







CARLY AND FREDDIE:

Auuuugh!







[CUT TO NEXT VIDEO, OF ATTRACTIVE GUY]



CARLY AND SAM:

Holy chiz, he’s hot!







FREDDIE:

I don’t like this hot boy who is obviously hot.






HOT BOY:

(WHO IS VOICED BY EDWARD CULLEN)

Hey, Carly and Sam, I’m gonna dance for you. Ya know, rate me.






[DANCES]






CARLY:

Gosh, he’s hot!






SAM:

Smokin’ hot!




FREDDIE:

My character is obviously jealous of you two always lookin’ at dudes.







CARLY:

Then it’s questionable why you always hang out with girls.




CARLY:

Vote? I say a zillion!







SAM:

A zillion and three!






FREDDIE:

I’m going to sulk and pout cutely over there.




CARLY AND SAM:

Out the way, we’re watchin’ here!






[CUT TO SCENE WITH OBLIGATORY SHIP MOMENTS]




[SAM IS LEANING ON FREDDIE’S SHOULDER, UNTIL HE NUDGES HER OFF=SEDDIE]




[LATER, ON, SAM IS LAYING ON CARLY’S LAP, TURNING HER HEAD TO HER SLOWLY=CAM]



[THEN CARLY LAYING ON SAM’S LAP=X2 CAM]







[CUT TO SCENE WHERE THEY FALL ASLEEP AND DREAM WAKING UP IN SCHOOL]






CARLY:

I hate this next part!



FREDDIE:

I’m with ya.




SAM:

I’ll make sure peeps know it’s a dream sequence!






FREDDIE:

Yeah!







CARLY:

You do that, Sam.






[THE BELL RINGS AND STUDENTS CROWD THE TRIO, WHILE DANCING]






CARLY:

See?



Why the obligatory HSM reference?






FREDDIE:

I hated that movie!







SAM:

They’re all from Dingo!




[THEIR CLASSMATES GO ON WALKING AROUND LIKE NORMAL, AND SAM WAKES UP]



SAM:

No… not the… Dingo… Channel.

[FALLS BACK ASLEEP]






[CUE SAM’S DREAM OF BEING IN DETENTION]




MISS BRIGGS:

Quiet in here! I hate you all! So shut up, while I make your ears bleed!




SAM:

Time for my masochist line!




MISS BRIGGS:

And to assure I get full points on Bagpipe Goddess …



[PLUGS IN AMP]




SAM:

Oh hell no! I am not-

[WARDROBE CHANGES TO IRISH DANCER]



[SAM DANCES, AS IF FORCED]




SAM:

Stop! They can’t know- I dance- well… Makes me look like Britney- and not a bad (insert speaker feedback noise here)

What in Brigg’s name did I do to deserve this?



Don’t show off- my flexibility-

[HOLDS LEG UP, CARTWHEEL, AND A FULL SPLIT]




[TWO GUYS PICK HER UP, DRAGGING HER TO A CHAIR]



SAM:

Hey paws off, unattractables!




[GIBBY RUNS IN, ONLY WEARING HIS UNDERWEAR]



GIBBY:

Am I late for my sexy cameo?




SAM:

Gibby, run of they’ll turn you and make you dance!




[GIBBY SENSES DANGER, AND RUNS]




[CUE POV CHANGING TO FREDDIE, THINKING ABOUT CARLY AND SAM]



FREDDIE:

(THINKING)

Ah, Megan, I’ll prove my love for you- wait, why do I hear Sam’s voice to? Ah well…




[CUE FREDDIE’S DREAM, IN SCHOOL, WHERE CARLY IS REJECTING THE HOT GUY]



HOT GUY:

Blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah.




CARLY:

(BLOWS RASPBERRY IN HIS FACE)




HOT GUY:

Blah! Blah blah blah blah blah…?






CARLY:

Go away, I’m in love with Toplin kindof.






HOT GUY:

Blah blah, blah…




[FREDDIE ENTERS, CLEARING HIS THROAT]




FREDDIE:

You heard the girl, she’s with me.




HOT GUY:

(ADVANCING TOWARDS HIM)

Blah? Blah blah blah?






FREDDIE:

Haven’t you gotten this is the dancing episode?






[CUE FREDDIE TURNING HOT, AND PLAY THE GENERIC VERSION OF “BEAT IT” WHILE FREDDIE DANCES/BEATS UP THE HOT GUY]




[CUT TO FREDDIE WINNING CARLY OVER IN HIS DREAM, AND SMILES]






[CUE SHIFT OF POV TO CARLY]




CARLY:

Sam? Yep, I always call for Sam in my dreams-




[LOOKS AROUND, AND FINDS HOT GUYS ALL OVER THE APARTMENT]




Sam? No, hot guy….




Sam? Another hot guy…




So, I’m hoping you all just wanna dance, because I’m not that kinda girl…




[CARLY DANCES WITH THE HOT BOYS, UNTIL SHE HEARS SPENCER YELLING]






SPENCER:

Carly! I heard you moaning, is everything ok? Do I have to fight someone?




SAM:

Uh…







CARLY AND FREDDIE:

Noo…






SPENCER:

But I heard someone talking about Megan, and Sam, and Gibby…






SAM:

Not in front of Carly…







FREDDIE:

Ugh, I’m going home before my mommy calls the cops on Megan.






SAM:

Carly, I’ll make it up to you if ya let me stay over…






CARLY:

Yeah, yeah.




FREDDIE:

Night, crazies.







CARLY, SAM AND SPENCER:

Night, psycho…







CARLY:

(TO SPENCER)

Night helmet…




SAM:

It looks gayer than I’m implied to be…

(YAWNS)







SPENCER:

(THINKING)

Now time for me to really make the fan girls scream!



[CUE SPENCER’S DREAM, WHICH IS THE SAME AS CARLY’S, WITH HIM IN A DRESS, DANCING WITH HOT GUYS]






SPENCER:

WHAT-? NO!- I’m not!- Into dudes!




[CUE SPENCER WAKING UP]



Woah, dude…



So, episode 3 is up!!! Tell me whatcha think!!!



MellamoSammo! 18:18, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

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