Note. This is made as a complete and utter joke and is to be seen only as such. Anyone who takes this seriously and/or flames me for it will be subject to my ridicule. Anyone who wants to add something in can post their suggestion in the comments area. You have no idea how hard it is to come up with romantic moments with rocks.

Roulder is the pairing of Rock and Boulder (Rock+ Boulder) in Ihave-a-sick-puppy-mind. Rock has a huge crush on Boulder, Rock's metamorphic granite neighbor, but Boulder neither knows of this nor is it know if it reciprocates Rock's affections. Rock and Boulder are close neighbors, and have lived next to each other since the early Pleistocene epoch. However there have been bumps in Rock's affection: Rock is a highly ferrous igneous hematite and Boulder is a granite with a high quartz composition and Rock is worried because there is still some discrimination of color in their neighborhood and wonders if it might get hurt if it goes after the white Boulder. Despite this, Rock has managed to slip small hints to Boulder about its love. It has yet to be seen if Boulder feels the same way. Outside of the unrequited romance, Rock and Boulder are like any other 2.4 million year olds: young, rebellious, teenagers living in a world controlled by the Man.

"Roulder" moments


  • Rock is staring at Boulder, when Boulder notices, it asks Rock what its staring at. Rock hurriedly answers that it was "Admiring its new quartz tesselation patterns." To which Boulder coyly replies "You Like?"


  • When Boulder catches a bad Lichen outbreak, it hides from view in shame. Rock comforts it by telling him that "the ugly mauvey-puke brown lichen cannot hide your brilliant white."

I-Fear prospectors

  • When tales of a camp of prospectors are nearby, Rock is afraid and cannot sleep. Boulder is able to make Rock feel safe by promising that nothing would ever happen when it was around.

I-Get racially hazed

When a gang of Cloud Marble outcroppings corner Rock in an alleyway and are about to beat it up on account of it's color; Boulder comes and saves Rock. They embrace.

Hints from Norm

In several interviews, Norm Schnauser has dropped hints that in the show's later seasons Boulder will show itself to be more interested in Rock, and that a rival for Boulder's affection will appear.

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